Celery

I bought some celery at the Farmer's Market the other day. Not the pre-cut kind, but a bunch (I think it's called a bunch) of celery for 99 cents. Sometimes celery is just cool, refreshing, and delicious. And when you dip it in blue cheese?! Get out of town...that is the joint right there!

But I digress...

I was cutting the celery up so I would have easier access to it; that is, I could just grab an already washed and cut piece of celery from the fridge, and enjoy it on the spot, rather than washing and cutting it to order. I was filling up a plastic container when Stephanie walked in.

Stephanie: (upon observing my celery-cutting action) "What are you going to do with all that celery?"

Me: "Um, probably eat it."

Stephanie: "Well that's a lot of celery. Are you really going to eat it all?"

Me: "Well, I might have a little bit now, and then save the rest. I just like having it cut and ready to go for when I want to eat it."

Stephanie: "Oh. I thought you were cutting it so you could eat it all right now."

Me: "Nope."

What I really wanted to say was...

"What am I going to do with all this celery? Well, I'm probably going to decorate a little bit with it, and probably glue some to the wall. I might take it to work and sell it. Or I might wear some on my head. I haven't really decided yet."

What else do you do with celery other than eat it? Well, in my world anyway...

It's too hot to get in the water to cool down!

Summer time is a time to take vacations. Luckily, Stephanie was able to take a mini-vacation to the beach this past week. I almost wanted to take time off of work to just enjoy her absence from our place (almost...).

What I find extremely considerate of her in general is her ability to do laundry. She seems to like to wash one or two items at a time (she is very environmentally conscious, as you can tell). She also likes to then LEAVE her items in the washer, sometimes for a day or two. Apparently she thinks that she is the only one who needs to wash her clothes. So I found it so nice that she decided to wash one dress before leaving on vacation...and then left that dress in the washer while she was gone. Didn't switch the laundry, didn't lay the dress out to dry...just left it in the washer. Perhaps while she was gone that dress may have fallen on the floor a few times....

But I digress...

Stephanie got back from her mini-vacay to the beach yesterday. Being the nice roommate that I am, I of course asked her how her family trip was.

Me: (seeing her just waking up from sleeping on the couch while her mom slept in her bed as I came down for breakfast) "Hey! Welcome back! How was your trip?"
Stephanie: "It was ok. It was just so hot!"
Me: "Yeah, it's been really hot here too. But at least you were at the beach."
Stephanie: "Oh, we were barely able to go outside. It was too hot to go to the beach!"

Um...it was too hot to go swimming? Maybe I'm wrong...but I thought that you go to the pool or the beach to cool down on a hot day. Hmmm...I will be going on a beach vacation next week. Apparently it's going to be pretty miserable if it's too hot to get in the water to cool down.

Ooops...wrong account...I think

One thing I really appreciate in a roommate is the ability to pay bills on time. Stephanie is actually...for the most part...pretty good about this.

All of the utilities are in my name, which I actually prefer (because then I KNOW that the bills are being paid). When I have paid the utilities for the month, Stephanie gives me cash or a check for her part. She usually gets me the money within a few days, or a week at the most. I've never really had to chase her down for it.

We did have an interesting conversation about this the other day. She had given me a check, and when I did my weekly deposit of my tips in the bank, I deposited the check along with it.

Stephanie: "I just wanted to let you know that I think you deposited the check I gave you into my account instead of yours."

Me: "Um...I don't think I have the ability to do that."

Stephanie: "Well, I think that somehow you did. When I was looking at my account on the computer, that check showed up. I clicked on it, and there was a picture of my check. So somehow I think it went back into my account."

Me: "Oh, that's just so you can keep track of the checks that you have written. That just means it's been cashed."

Stephanie: "I don't think so. Will you just check your account to see if it went into your account?"

I then proceed to give her a tutorial about how managing your account online works. I showed her my deposit (which included her check). I also clicked on a few checks that I had written, to show what happens when those checks have been cashed, and how you can get an image of what those checks look like.

Has she really gotten through 29 years of her life without writing a few checks? Or at lease understanding how the check writing/depositing/withdrawing process works. Oh...but I guess when you still get an allowance, it's something that you don't really need to worry about.

Today is Father's Day

Being a Sunday, I like to enjoy a nice, leisurely breakfast. I came downstairs at around 9:30 or so, surprised to find Stephanie already awake and ready for a run (or something). She was on the phone, so I lucked out by not having to make trivial small talk (i.e., "Good morning, how was your day yesterday," etc.). Rather, when she got off the phone, this is the conversation we got into:

Stephanie: (as I am milling about, getting my breakfast ready) "Today is Father's Day."

Me: "Yup, I know. "

Stephanie: "Oh. I just wanted to make sure you knew."

Me: "Yup, that's why I'm working tonight. I hope it will be a busy night."

Stephanie: "It just seems that a lot of people might not know it's Father's Day."

Um...I don't have any specific statistics...but I'm pretty sure Father's Day is a big holiday. Granted, it's not as big or popular as Mother's Day (a day that is feared by every restaurant server, as they get to encounter a variety of people who don't seem to know any restaurant etiquette), but I'm pretty sure that people at least know enough to send their dads a card or reach out and give a phone call to let them know that they are appreciated.

It was quite nice of her to make sure that I knew about the holiday, though. Perhaps she just learned that it was Father's Day this morning, and wanted to reach out and make sure others knew of this little-known holiday as well.

Sometimes I miss getting an allowance

When I was a young child (around 5, or so), I had a My Little Pony piggy bank. I just loved it! I think it was what helped me become a good saver (that, and the good values instilled in me by my parents), because I wanted to see it get full. I got an allowance ($5 a week or so), and I saved up as much as I could. I wanted to get to $100...not sure what I actually wanted to BUY with that money, but I just wanted to get to one hundred dollars. It seemed like a magical number.

And I got there! It took awhile...several one dollar bills, 5 dollar bills, and coins, but I eventually saved up a hundred bucks. And my piggy bank was heavy, and full, and I was just so excited.

My parents were proud of me for saving so much. And my dad exchanged my hard-earned cash for a hundred dollar bill. And I guess I was happy...but it just wasn't the same. I couldn't see all that I had saved in that one bill. It wasn't heavy like the small bills that had previously filled my piggy bank. But I guess it was still good. I must've spent it, because I no longer have that hundred dollar bill.

But I no longer have that My Little Pony piggy bank. Instead, I have a checking account in a real bank. And I no longer get an allowance...pretty sure that stopped around the time I started baby-sitting for money, when I was around 10 or so.

I asked Stephanie today if she had decided on a place to move. She told me that she wanted to wait until her mom came to visit, so she could help her look at some places. Seems like a good idea.

Stephanie: "Yeah, I'm hoping if my mom comes and looks at places with me, she'll get excited and offer to pay."

Me: "Well that sure would be nice of her."

Stephanie: "Yeah, they've been pretty supportive of me since I quit my job and want to try and start my own law practice."

(side note: that was over 6 months ago...pretty sure I haven't seen her take one step to try and open her own law practice. Especially because she told me that she's so good at being unemployed...but that's another story that will be told another time)

Me: "Well that's cool."

Stephanie: "Yeah, they still give me a weekly allowance."

Um....what?!?! Isn't allowance supposed to help kids learn how to handle and save money? And doesn't it stop once you get a REAL job and start earning REAL income? Even if that job is just being a cashier at a grocery store (did that), it still provides some money to help kids start to wean themselves off of their parents.

I guess that doesn't happen in Stephanie's world. But perhaps she doesn't live in the REAL world, seeing as she doesn't have a REAL job at the moment.

Does this mean the world is ending??

Have you ever woken up from a deep sleep, and been confused about what day it was? Or taken a nice, afternoon nap, only to wake up in the dark, and think that it is the next day (when it only, in fact, is later in the evening on that same day)? I have done both. More than once, actually. But I am usually able to shake off the cobwebs within seconds, possibly minutes at most, and get on with my day.

I got home from work one night, and found Stephanie awake (which is odd, as I work nights, and sometimes come home quite late).

Stephanie: "Guess what happened to me today!"

(side note: whenever she says this, I know a great story is about to follow)

Me: "What?"

Stephanie: "Well, when I woke up, it was just starting to get light out. I felt REALLY rested for some reason. I was just really excited for the day! I came downstairs, made some tea, and then did a really nice job on my makeup, because I was feeling really good. But as I was doing my makeup, I looked out the window, and it looked like the sky was starting to get darker!"

(dramatic pause; I think she is waiting for me to say something, but I continue to keep my mouth shut)

"I was really confused! I didn't understand why it was daytime, but it was starting to get dark! I thought maybe the world was ending!"

(yup...she really said that)

Stephanie, continued: "So I started to get scared, and I called my mom. I asked her why it was morning, but it was starting to get dark out. I asked her if she thought the world might be ending!"

Me: "Uh-huh."

Stephanie: (laughs) "She told me that it wasn't morning! The world wasn't ending...it wasn't 7 in the morning, but it was 7 at night! (laughs again) Can you believe that?"

Me: "Huh. That's pretty funny."

Stephanie: "Yeah, I was really starting to get so scared! I sure am glad that the world isn't ending!"

If I ever wake up and for some reason am confused about what time of day it is, I usually just turn on the TV. If "The Today Show" is on...probably morning. If "American Idol" is on...probably nighttime. But Stephanie doesn't watch TV. So...I guess that wouldn't help her very much.

Was that yesterday or today?

As sad as this makes me (*tear*), I am looking for a new place to live. I went last week to look at some places, and was taking today to do my 2nd go-round, just to get a 2nd look. Thus, I was up early to meet someone to see her place.

I saw Stephanie briefly this morning. I was just getting downstairs for breakfast (7am or so), and I think she was getting ready to go on a run (at least, she was dressed like she was going for a run...but sometimes I just don't know where she goes). We said our good-mornings, had a little morning chit-chat, and then she was off. I left shortly after to look at the possible townhouse to rent, as well as run a few errands. I returned home around 11am, and promptly went to take a nap.

When I woke up an hour later, Stephanie was home. I was leaving my room to go downstairs when she stopped me.

Stephanie: "Hey!"

Me: "Hey."

Stephanie: "Are you just waking up this morning? It's kind of late."

Me: "Oh, no, I was up early. I was just taking a quick nap."

Stephanie: "Oh, that's right. I think I saw you this morning, didn't I? That was this morning, right?"

Me: "Yup, that was this morning."

Stephanie: "Wow, that just seems like it was yesterday. It seems like so long ago, don't you think?"

Me: "Um, ok."

Yup, 5 hours ago. Not 55.

Maybe she didn't go for a run. Perhaps she took a ride in her DeLoreon time machine, so maybe it did seem like it was yesterday.

A note about dish soap

I have to preface this by saying that Stephanie is a nice person. She really is. She CLEARLY loves animals, and I usually see her acting nice towards others. So she's a nice person. At least, one of her personalities is.

I like clean dishes. Perhaps it stems from all of my restaurant experiences, but I like to eat off of clean plates, use clean utensils, and drink out of a clean glass. In order for this to happen, I usually rinse out my dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. Now, I am aware that not everyone does this. It was just something that was instilled in me growing up, and I have taken it with me as I have gotten older. But in order to do this, I sometimes use dish soap to clean these dishes off before placing them in the dishwasher. I also use dish soap to soak dishes sometimes (i.e., a pot used to make macaroni and cheese, or perhaps a pan I used to make eggs). I find it quite convenient to have dish soap RIGHT THERE on the counter. That way, I can just grab it and use it.

But Stephanie had a habit of putting the dish soap underneath the sink. I wasn't really sure why, and I never asked her. But I found it annoying, and would usually place it BACK on the sink after I used it. I thought that perhaps she did this because I usually bought the generic soap, and maybe she just didn't like how it looked...perhaps it looked too cheap for her taste. So I decided to steal a friend's idea, and put my dish soap in a wine bottle (I have a friend who puts his dish soap in a Grey Goose bottle, and it has a little spout on the top; I always thought it looked so neat and artsy). I had a neat-looking port bottle that I had saved for an occasion such as this, so I cleaned it out, and poured the rest of the dish soap into it. I then finished it off with a spout to pour it out of. I tested it, and it worked perfectly. I left it on the sink before I left for work that day (with a sticky note saying "Dish soap is now in here"

), feeling quite proud of myself.

When I got home, the soap was once again underneath the sink.

I was annoyed. Why did she insist on having the dish soap underneath the sink?? It wasn't doing any good there; it wasn't convenient to just grab and use. So I AGAIN placed in BACK on the sink, with a note that said "I use this daily. Please leave it out. Thanks! :)" (see exhibit A).

EXHIBIT A

Maybe she just didn't know that I liked to use it on a constant basis, and I thought this might help (side note: I would have told her directly, but I work nights and she worked days, so I wasn't sure when I would actually see her to tell her. A note would be the fastest means of contact). The next morning, I went down to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast, fully expecting the dish soap to now be on the sink

, where I liked it. Instead, I was met with not just 1, not 2, but THREE sticky notes. They were a quite lovely response to my polite note, if I do say so myself (see exhibit B).

EXHIBIT B -->

(as it is shown exactly as I found it, it may be difficult to read, as I have not changed the penmanship at all. The exact text, in its entirety, is as follows:

"I use a lot of things daily And if you haven't noticed, none of them are out because this entire counter is cluttered with your gadgets. There isn't room for a single other thing it is so cluttered. And, if you bring one more thrift store gadget or other piece of junk into this house as long as I live here you will find it out in the trash where it belongs I hope I didn't hurt your feelings b/c I like you and would not want to be mean but I can't stand being surrounded by junk Not to mention there is no counter space for chopping/cooking"

For the record, the "gadgets" she is referring to are: a toaster, a microwave, and a blender. The toaster and blender, along with my spice rack, are now on top of the fridge, where they are quite useful. I was CLEARLY out of line to ask that the DISH soap, used to wash DISHES, be kept on the sink.

I think that my next request might be to leave the hand soap by the bathroom sink...but I don't want to get too carried away with myself.

Oh, so THAT'S what a 401k is for!

I have something to confess. I don't have a 401k. I've actually never contributed to a 401k. Not that I don't plan on starting one once I get settled into my career, because I do. I hear that they are important for retirement. Or, at least, they were...before the economy went to shit. But I hear that the economy might be getting better, and that money put into a 401k actually WILL be helpful to me in my retirement age. So I suppose that I can't wait to start one. But I digress...

Stephanie and I were talking about insurance. She tells me that she doesn't really see the point in having insurance, as it's more money to pay each month, and she's thinking of just getting rid of it (side note: she used to have insurance with her job, but she quit her job about 6 months ago, because she felt it was holding her back; so she now just pays for health insurance out-of-pocket). I somewhat agree, and tell her that the thought of just taking chances and NOT having health insurance has actually crossed my mind. But then my parents talked some sense into me, and reaffirmed that insurance is just that: insurance IN CASE an emergency happens, and so you're not screwed paying a ridiculous amount of medical bills. I tell Stephanie such, and try to tell her all about the benefits of health insurance.

She then changes the subject, and tells me that she recently had to dip into her 401k. I am immediately worried; does she not have money to pay rent anymore? Can she no longer help pay utility bills? Perhaps this is why she didn't want to carry insurance, and I immediately feel bad because I possibly judged her reasoning too quickly.

Me: "Oh my goodness! Are you OK? Are you struggling for money right now?"

Stephanie: "Oh no, it's nothing like that. I actually have an appointment with a very exclusive plastic surgeon on Monday."

Me: (somewhat confused) "Oh. Ok. Why?"

Stephanie: "Well, I was excited to just get an appointment with him. He's usually booked solid! I want to see about getting laser surgery done on my face. I want my face to be completely flawless."

Me: "I think your face is fine. What are you talking about? Is that something you really need to use your 401k money for?"

Stephanie: "I just think that it's doing me no good just sitting there. I might as well use it, right?"

Now as I said, I don't have a 401k, so Stephanie is really one up on me for at least HAVING one. I don't even know all the minute details that go into it...but I'm pretty sure it's to be used when you're older and can't work anymore and still need some money. But of course I can see how laser surgery on one's face is also important for retirement.

From a cat's perspective

Speaking of cats...

I like cats. Probably more than dogs, actually (just don't tell my boyfriend, as he is more of a dog aficionado). I have a cat, and he is one of the best pets I have ever had. He is very soft, and loving, and snuggles with my when I go to sleep (I could go on and on about him, but that would get quite boring I suppose). Sometimes I talk to him, saying things like:

(when I come home and he is waiting by the door for me): "Hey kitty."

(when he is just sitting and looking at himself in the mirror): "You are quite the handsome cat, aren't you?"!

(when he does something bad, which isn't very often): "NO!"

(before I go to sleep at night): "Good night, I love you."

I'm sure there have been other things that I have said to my cat, but those seem to be the ones I use the most, and thus are at the front of my mind.

So...I find it odd when Stephanie has conversations with her cat. And I'll play the devil's advocate; maybe I'm the odd one, and EVERYONE likes to have conversations with their animals. Well, I suppose that they are not actual conversations, per se, as her cat actually can't respond to what she is saying. But on a fairly regular basis, I hear some exchanges such as this:

"Oooh, ooh, there you are Buster. Hello Buster Bunny, Buster rabbit. You are so cute! Why do they call you Buster bunny? Is it because you look like a bunny? Huh? Is that it? Oooh, ooh. Do you want some fresh water? Do you Buster? Does my little Buster rabbit want some fresh water?"

I'm not sure if she is actually waiting for a response or not, but there are certainly pauses after she asks her questions. She also scolds her cat. I'm not referring to a simple "No, don't eat the leaves!" or "No, don't jump on the counter!" She describes to her cat what he did, and why it was wrong. And even more peculiar...she tells me about it. For example,

Stephanie: "I let Buster out today, and he didn't come home for almost 2 hours!"

Me: (feigning interest and worry) "Oh no."

Stephanie: "Well, when I finally found him, he was in the neighbor's yard! I gave him a good talking to. I smacked him on his tucchus, and told him that I expected him to come home when I called him next time. He better listen next time."

Me: (still feigning interest) "Oh, well I'm glad he's home at least."

Stephanie: "Me too! I think he's upset at me now. He won't even look at me or talk to me. I hope he gets over it soon."

Now, I must stop for a moment; there are definitely some questionable things that I do. I love the High School Musical movies and watch them when they are on TV, and slept with a New Kids on the Block comforter until I was 13. I've also cheated on some high school tests (nothing major, of course), and have even done my brother's homework for him on occasion. But...those are some things I keep to myself (until now, I suppose...the really odd ones aren't fit to print, so I will still keep those to myself). I talk to my cat, but not really when other people are around. If I were to ever need someone to confide to, I may use my cat as a sounding board, with the understanding, of course, that he probably can't respond.

Perhaps she is waiting for that one, fateful day that Buster will actually respond to her questions and comments. But by then...will she really want to hear what he has to say?

Buster's Day Out

Stephanie was on the phone with her mom today. I don't really eavesdrop, per se, when she talks, but sometimes I can't just help but listen. Some of the things I hear are too good to pass up.

"Mom, Buster's been outside for almost an hour!"

(Mom responds)

"Well, of course I let him out, because he was begging me to go outside. But he's been out for almost an hour and I don't know where he is!"

(Mom responds)

"I'm just going to go out and look for him again."

Some side notes: Buster is a cat who spends a good part of each day outside. He doesn't speak English, though Stephanie talks to him as though he does (asking him questions and such). He came home, on his own, like he usually does, about 15 minutes later.

Ah, tea

I like tea. Actually, if I may quote a poem co-written by my good friend Graham and myself, "I like tea. Tea is for me. I like tea. But it makes me pee." Truer words have never been spoken. But I digress...

Stephanie* is definitely more of a coffee person, but she recently discovered Teavana, a tea store at the local mall. The store sells all sorts of kinds and flavors of tea. I've been there on occasion, and stocked up on my tea stash. So after trying some tea samples, Stephanie drops a fair amount of money at the store, buying a variety of tea leaves. She then comes home and decides to make some hot tea. Unfortunately, all of the tea she has is loose tea, so I agree to let her use my tea diffuser (she is so thankful, and promises to buy her own as soon as she can). While she is preparing her tea, I make my way to the couch to watch some TV. I hear her bustling around in the kitchen, and then I hear the sound of the tea kettle whistling. Now, I find the sound of a tea kettle whistling to be right up there with some of the most annoying sounds in the world (along with the vacuum cleaner, and someone jackhammering the sidewalk outside). But she doesn't take the tea kettle off of the burner; as it continues to whistle, this leaves me a little confused. I don't say anything, however, because I am kind of interested to see where she is going with this. As the tea kettle continues to whistle, she starts to walk into the bathroom. I have to stop her; perhaps she is unaware that the whistling sound means that the water is boiling.

"Um, Stephanie, I think your water is ready."

"Oh, I know," she says. "I just find the sound of the tea kettle whistling to be quite soothing. Don't you like that sound?"

?????????

Well...perhaps the whistling sound is able to cover up those strange voices in her head.

Side note: About a month later, I come into the kitchen in the morning to make my daily cup of tea. However, the tea kettle has, for lack of a better word, melted. The handle and cover are now one big blob on top of the metal portion. There is a note on the counter, explaining that she forgot that she had water boiling, and the tea kettle melted. She is quite sorry, and agrees to pay for another one.

*name has been changed to protect...well, me, in case she ever reads this

A roommate is...

Roommates from hell. We've all had them, right? Whether it was a college roommate who smoked too much pot and almost got you kicked out of your dorm for actually smoking it IN the dorm (true story), or someone who is a great friend but a messy roommate. Roommates are interesting. They seem so cool and fun to 18-year-old college freshmen, and are then just the norm for the next decade or so. They're perfect for 20-something-year-olds, but once you hit thirty, it seems that you should be grown-up enough to live on your own...or just get married and make your spouse your permanent roommate.

I've had all sorts of roommates...messy ones, clean ones, smokers, non-smokers, stuck-up, easy-going, etc. etc. I met one of my best friends through a roommate-finding service, and I've lost friends when a great-on-the-surface roommate turned out to be selfish bitch.

This is the story of one such roommate. Red flags should have sprung up before I even met her, but I pushed them aside because I SO BADLY needed someone to help me pay my $1300/month rent. When I first met her in person, the first thing she said to me was "Oh, I don't watch TV." And so it began...